i still love him
by Welly
Summary: Nick reflects back on the loss of Greg.


Title: I still love him Author:Welly Fandom: CSI Pairings: Assumed between Nick and Greg.  
Spoilers: No Series/sequel: No Archive: Sure Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING.  
Summary: Nick reflects back on the loss of Greg. character death

"I still love him. I love the way he walked into a room, and just lit the whole place up when he did so. That smile, that smile could always cheer me up, even when I was really depressed. When he smiled at me, it made me smile as well. I don't know anyone else who can do that. I don't think I ever will. I love his smile, I'd love to see it again, just once more. I love the way he was always so enthusiastic about everything, even the really monotonous things that everyone hates, like paperwork. He loved paperwork, he really enjoyed it, even when he had to initial every page. He never ever complained, even if his day was really sucking. And he was always so generous. If you needed something doing, he'd do it for you, no questions asked. If he was in the middle of something, and you asked him to do something else, he'd always do your stuff instead of his. I love that about him. I love his eyes. They say that your eyes are the window to your soul, and I completely agree with that. When I looked into his eyes, I saw inside of him, I saw his heart. His eyes never lied to me, they couldn't, they weren't capable of that. When he was happy, his eyes were so bright, they were so happy. I could stare into them for days when they were like that. I love the fact that his eyes lit up when he saw me. That really made me happy. But when he was sad, he'd try and stay strong, and put up a front. He'd tell me that everything was okay, that he was fine, but that's not what his eyes would tell me. His eyes would tell me the true pain and misery that he was feeling, and when I saw him like that, I wanted to throw my arms around him, and protect him, and make everything alright again. I knew that sometimes he was upset about things that he wouldn't tell me about. He'd tell me he was fine, and his eyes would tell me to change the subject, and then he'd say something goofy, and that would make me laugh. I think that he thought if he made me happy, that would make him happy too. He didn't like being upset, and I didn't like seeing him upset. When I saw the pain in his eyes, that just broke my heart. I love that he was so passionate about his music. I don't really agree with his taste, but he was so passionate about it, and I admired that in him. I love to see him get really excited about stuff, and music definitely did that to him. I didn't really like that he played his music really loud, but I love the he loved to play his music so loud. He was at his happiest when he had his music, and I love that. I love that he loved his job. He was really passionate about it, and always so awake, even though he only worked in the middle of the night. I loved to watch him work. He was always in total control of that lab. Quite often it would be chaos in there, but he had it organised, and new exactly what each individual piece of chaos was. Sometimes, I'd just stand outside his lab, and watch him work. I love that look of concentration he had. He was always trying so hard at work, trying to keep everyone happy, trying to make Grissom proud. He thought of Grissom as a father figure to him, and I love that. He was like a little boy trying to impress his dad with his skills. Sometimes, it wouldn't always work, but he'd never give up. He'd stick with it, and work hard, and in the end, he'd get it right, and Grissom would be happy. I love the look he had on his face when he made Grissom happy, he'd looked so pleased with himself, and he'd be happy. I love the fact that he was so enthusiastic about life. I've never known anyone with the zest that he had, he'd always be so happy, even when things got really tough. If I was upset, he'd know exactly how to cheer me up. He'd put his arms around me, and he'd say something really nice, and he'd kiss me. I love the way that he touched me. He was always so soft and gentle. He'd never to anything to hurt me, but now he's gone, and that has hurt me in ways that he can't imagine, and I'm so glad he can't see me right now. I tell myself he's looking down on me, keeping me safe, but at the moment, I really hope he can't"  
"Oh Nick," said Sara, putting her hand on Nick's shoulder.  
Nick put his hands to his face, and burst into tears. "I really miss him"  
Sara wrapped her arms protectively around her best friend, and he buried his face in her top. "Let it out," she said soothingly, slowly rubbing his back. "Let it out"  
"I still love him." 


End file.
